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She's got it ALL!

Dear Sis,

Auntie "O" said it best:

"You can have it all -- just not all at once." - Oprah Winfrey

That quote has always given me pause. Why can't one person have it all??

My ambition likes to think it is totally possible to have everything your heart desires all at the same time. Set the goals, work hard toward them -- watch your dreams unfold. That's how it works right?!

But, then again -- I guess it depends on how you define "it all".

Every person has a different definition for what it means to "have it all". There's no right answer -- and, I'm certain the standards change person to person, and circumstance to circumstance.

There's no doubt, my definition evolved with maturity. Young V probably would have defined her "all" as: a high-paying job, a fine husband, a closet full of fly clothes and maybe a cute kid to seal the deal on Instagram.

I'll be the first to admit that my life goals were once pretty shallow. But, thank goodness for growth! Now-a-days my "all" consists of:

-- a peaceful home

-- a ton of sleep

-- a well-used passport

-- a purpose-driven career

-- a skinny/healthy body

-- amazing food

-- and, genuinely loving people to share it with.

Most folks would look at this list and say: "Valencia, you have all of that!"

And, for the most part -- you're right. I am overwhelmingly blessed to live a life full of all the things my soul desires. But, the truth is: I don't have "it all"... especially not all at the same time.

My love for amazing food is starting to outweigh my "healthy body"... and my passport tends to sit unused for months at a time, 'cause... well -- ya girl gots to work. Oh -- and, I have sleepless nights.... lots of sleepless nights... that no one knows about until I decide to write about it in a blog.

Here's what I've learned: it's not that having "it all" isn't achievable... it just takes WORK to get it all done. It takes time, energy, resources and intention to conquer everything on your "dream list", especially if you are working toward everything at once. Who has that kind of time?!

I sure don't. So, I'm changing my perspective. I've removed the standard of having to be the best at every single thing -- for every single person -- every single time. I no longer believe that success = simultaneous triumph.

Instead, I'm giving myself the room to be a work in progress. I'm learning to equalize my work-life balance -- and, therefore releasing myself from the stress of even trying to achieve "it all".

Having goals and working toward them is more than enough. And, let's be honest... that's the goal here anyway: to look ourselves in the mirror and be proud of what we've already accomplished, yet have faith in what's to come.

Sis -- we have it ALL. And, I hope you never doubt it!

Until next time, V

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