It's taken a long time for me to admit this, but I've finally come to the realization: I have a HARD time asking for help. It’s not the act itself, but more so my fear of being a burden — and, in some way feeling vulnerable (that’s another blog in itself lol).
We all have our own lives, and our own stuff going on — so, the last thing someone needs is me asking for a favor! Not to mention, all the other things that are already stretching them thin.
Until recently, asking for help felt like a foreign language to me. I would literally coach myself. But, before I could take my shot — I’d find myself texting Valencia mid-anxiety attack, in hopes that she could talk me off the ledge. None-the-less, I’d find a way to tell myself that I’m better off avoiding the help all together!
I'd tell myself:
"I'll be fine"
"It's cool, I've got it"
Truth be told, I was overwhelmed. I had no idea where to start. It wasn't cool. I didn't have it together, and I definitely wasn't fine.
Thankfully, a recent situation completely changed my perspective. I was chatting with a friend about a possible new opportunity. Oddly enough, his sister works with the same organization!
Him: “I'll send you her contact info. You should reach out, and ask for her advice!"
While I said "ok great!", I was actually freaking out internally.
I thought to myself "She doesn't even know me! Why would she wanna help me?!"
After a whole lot of contemplating and fighting negative thoughts, I finally brought myself to reach out. To my surprise, she was SO supportive, and SO excited to help. All of my pre-conceived notions were put to rest!
So, in the words of Valencia — DONT BE LIKE ME!!! Before you go acting like Mrs. Cleo — trying to predict the future and all — get out of your thoughts and simply go after what you need! People are a lot more willing to assist than you think.
The woman you want to be is on the other side of whatever is holding you back. So — be smart enough to know when you need help, and humble enough to ask.