I am *NOT* the bigger person

Dear Sis, Have you ever sat back and asked yourself, “what does it REALLY mean to be the bigger person??” It’s the age old cliche that every parent has taught, and every child has heard — yet few take the time to really analyze or explain what it means. For me — I always assumed being the “bigger person” meant doing the right thing, even if you weren’t wrong in the first place. And, while there is merit to that concept — I also believe there is another angle to consider. There’s no doubt I’m a “fixer-upper”. I’m almost always the first to forgive — the first to want to talk it out — and, the last to throw in the towel. The “bigness” in me tends to boil over in bad situations, because I HATE turmoil and confusion. Sounds noble, right? Well, it is!... But over time, I’ve learned there is a thin line between being “the bigger person”... and being “the person trampled over”.

See — I’ve watched people abuse the good in others. They say or do whatever they want without remorse or apology — and have full expectation of timely forgiveness.

Unfortunately, some people are so accustomed to being the recipient of maturity, that they no longer understand how — or even try — to display it. So, if you find yourself constantly taking the high road — yet, others rarely take the time to meet you halfway... it may be time to re-evaluate your approach. Being the bigger person doesn’t mean allowing yourself to be taken advantage of or overlooked.

It doesn't always mean engaging in argumentative chaos — or accepting hurtful behavior — or going out of your way to earn compassion. Sometimes it simply means walking away... letting the chips fall as they may... and, understanding to forgive from afar. Not everyone has blossomed into their “bigness” — and, that’s okay. Give them the space to grow, and have hope that the relationship/circumstance will mend itself. In the meantime — understand your worth.

Know that you are worthy of decency... you are worthy of compassion... and you are worthy of being loved. Never allow anyone else’s petty to make you feel differently.

Until next time,


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