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Breaking News

October 29, 2018


Dear Sis,

I can't believe it's happened again. 

People of faith... murdered... while in their sacred space of worship.
It happened again!

Another vicious gunman provoked by self-insinuated hate. 

This time 11 lives gone... a congregation -- an entire town -- torn to shreds.  

I can't believe it's happened... AGAIN. 


My uncle said it best:

"As the Jewish community in Pittsburgh is plunged in the horrors of grief,

our wounds are ripped open again."

My wound began to peel back last Wednesday.

I was conducting an interview with a Columbus pastor on a non-related subject, when he asked about my journey. 

"So, how long have you been in Columbus?"

Me: "About three years."

"Oh, yea? And, where did you come from?

Me: "Charleston, SC... I was there for 5 years."

"Oh," he sighed as he put his hand over his heart in sorrow. "...that Charleston church shooting".

I never expected what happened next. 

For some reason I was thrown back three years, 4 months and several days... with tears swelling in my eyes -- as if the scene was still raw. 

"Tighten up, girl!", I fussed internally.  "Don't. crumble!!"

But, I did. I crumbled hard. 

Thankfully, Rev. Ahrens was patient, never loosing eye contact with me. 

"I am SO sorry."

Me: "It's okay. I just... I never talk about this."

In that moment, I realized the inevitable was coming into play. I could no longer ignore the sounds and the nightmares of June 17th, 2015. I couldn't un-hear the sirens... I couldn't un-see the families weep in anguish... I couldn't erase the shaking in every person's voice who begged me to tell them the news wasn't true... I couldn't overlook how it scarred me and I certainly couldn't un-feel the fear in my heart for every minister and believer I know, and am related to. 

I just.... couldn't. 

But in hindsight, I believe it was God's way of preparing my emotions for what was to come.

Three days later, breaking news came down from the Tree of Life Synagogue -- and, all I could think of is when I was sent to Mother Emanuel AME Church at the corner of Meeting and Calhoun Streets in Charleston to cover the most terrifying story of my career.

I just can't believe it's happened again. 


This "breaking news" literally broke me. 

Our country is withering away at the hands of bigotry and injustice -- yet, here we are... left to grieve the scars that never really heal because our hearts are held prisoner to the ceaseless cycle of terrorism. 

I don't know what the answer is, and I absolutely don't have a solution to dealing with the weighted grief of these endless attacks. All I can do is pray that one day hope, love and unity will overpower anger, violence and hate. 


Will you join me?

Until next time, 


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