Dear Sis, If your childhood was anything like mine, your parents DID NOT PLAY!!! You were always encouraged to act in love, kindness, integrity and respect. And if at any moment you did not... well....there were consequences.
I’ll admit — I am the feisty sister. Valencia has always been the "Beyoncé". The mild tempered and always well-mannered one. Meanwhile, I'm "Solange" — the more rebellious one. So as a child, I tested the waters... and, I tested them OFTEN.
But whenever trouble found me, my parents and teachers always made sure I apologized. I vividly remember uttering “I’m sorry” with eyes full of tears and my head hung low. I hated apologizing. Not so much the words themselves, but the shame and guilt that came along with it.
Even in our adulthood years, we can all recall those instances where apologizing wasn’t any easier for relationships, friendships, or among family. But I've learned the words "I apologize" are really a gift to us. Often times we miss out on cherished moments and people we love, simply because we aren't willing to put our own feelings aside, consider the other person’s perspective and simply say "I'm sorry... that was not my intent". Truthfully, I’ve been known to hold a MEAN grudge — so, trust me... I know how hard it can be to muster those words! But I'm learning more and more that "apologizing doesn't always mean you're wrong, and the other person is right. It means you value your relationship more than your ego."
It's easier said than done, I know! But the time and people we lose while basking in our own stubbornness can never be replaced. And despite, our Oscar-worthy attempt to pretend like the loss doesn't bother us — subconsciously it mentally and emotionally drains us.
So, don't be afraid to take advantage of the gift of urgency (shoutout to last week's blog). If you're reading this and someone specific comes to mind, be the first to break the ice no matter how awkward it may feel. You owe yourself that kind of freedom. XOXO LO