I've never been one to shy away from emotions. Instead, I like to face them head on and dissect why they exist.
If I'm anxious, I want to know why. If I'm happy, I want to understand that too... Because for me, the only way to control your emotional stability is to fully distinguish each feeling and it's cause.
Exactly three weeks ago, Grief stopped by... again. But, this time she brought luggage with the intention of staying a while.
I personify "Grief" because she functions like a human being. She has highs and lows, and comes with her own routine.
The first time I recognized Grief was in 2002.
My great-grandmother was 96-years old when she passed away. She was the love of our lives. She was faithful. She was invincible. She made the world go 'round. But, I found comfort in the blessing of her longevity.
Since then, Grief has made several visits. She became a frequent flyer in 2016 when my sister and I lost two uncles within a matter of weeks. Then, an aunt a year later. That was three siblings back-to-back for my dad.
So, yea -- I was done with Grief... DONE. With. Her.
Then on August 28th I got the call, and little Ms. Grief ambushed her way back into my home uninvited.
This time it was our grandfather, who we affectionately called Paw Paw. None of us expected it, and quite frankly, it ripped us to our core. I think of him every morning and every evening. I've cried publicly and privately. I've stared at his pictures. I've laughed at the memories and I've missed his voice. I've shared his spirit with whomever would listen, and I rarely held back the tears.
Grief was taking her toll. But at some point in the process, I Iearned a valuable lesson worth sharing.
You see, feelings of fear, anger, sadness, remorse -- they can all handicap you if given the power. BUT, if we take the time to evaluate our emotions, we in turn gain the authority to channel our energy toward healing.
Yes -- I will feel Grief's presence, but I refuse to submit to her! My grandfather's legacy won't allow me to.
So, sis -- there is no reason to ignore your feelings. FEEL them, FACE them, EMBRACE them! Just don't let them overtake you.
Until next time,